He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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