are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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