It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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