Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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