The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
