Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
