I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
