Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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