watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize