I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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