So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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