that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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