So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
