Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize