I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize