He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
