Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
