that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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