so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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