Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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