I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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