Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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