I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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