He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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