I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
