I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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