haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize