He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
