My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
