She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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