Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
