we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This can only be settled by a dance off.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
