So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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