make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
