Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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