Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
