Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
