I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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