is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
