He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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