no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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