I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
