i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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