There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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