my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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