dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
