What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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