I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
