If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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