Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize