well I can't set my house on fire every night
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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