I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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