well I can't set my house on fire every night
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
