as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
