Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize