Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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