Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
