The maid of honor just puked.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
