thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
