I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
