oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
