R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
