i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
