Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize