I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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