6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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