we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
