Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
