Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
