i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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