whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize